Finding My Way

To Bedford House

It has taken a few days. Rosemary has returned to Canada and the local weather has not been conducive to any long wanderings. After two days I take the chance and begin with a short distance venture (1.6 to 2.5 km). It is a four hour wander, a visit with coffee and cats at Zuid-Bellegoed where in August 2018 Rosemary and I shared in similar cats, coffee and ice cream. It is part of myself becoming part of the landscape…not all doing…some relaxing as various kittens of adult size share the sun’s warmth from their window side perches. I like the way the cats gently close their eyes…I can learn something from their days of rest.

I have cycled this path before but today, Saturday 28 March 2026, I follow my feet instead of rotating wheels. There is more to see as I can pause easily. I enter Bedford House Cemetery, where 5,139 Commonwealth soldiers are buried. And this…but one of more than 250 cemeteries in Flanders row on row. The day marks the first time I carry my leather-bound journal with me, to record my thoughts in the moment. The journal is part of a larger imagination I have…a possibility for the future created from an earlier story 100 years prior to 1918.

So too I have seen something similar in the Displaced exhibition created by the In Flanders Fields Museum. A poetry book…from which I create more notes based on what I see…threads always come together…not a weaving…perhaps an embroidery or tapestry. There may be better words for this but this is the limit of my textilian (new word!) imagination today.

Silence…only silence…though I will share my time here, later, with a father and son who have come here to walk this way. They find time for play…the father recognizing where they are but junior happy in the innocence of his small pedal bike. Father will remember this day, for junior perhaps an impression has been created. I believe they will walk and play here again. Row on row I walk.

My search here are commemorations from visitors and what they have chosen to leave with the fallen. Poppies, figures, flags, poppy crosses, pictures, and notes. I capture these with the shutter. With today’s writing I search for descriptions of the two domed architectural features and find them described as circular Classical temples…so too a description of the cemetery itself, irregular and rambling in its layout. This suits me greatly for my start of walks and writing. I sit within the Temple and write. Fountain pen in hand, pencil nearby for sketching. Another couple walks through, some rows away, and with their mobile take some pictures. I move to the other Temple directly opposite.

With my decision to return to my Ieper temporary home, I start for the entrance/exit but find interest in the empty benches and flowers that attract the most enormous of bumblebees. I discover that bumbles are suffering in Belgium due to habitat loss and climate change. The Commonwealth War Graves Commission (CWGC) has been busy providing for species; insect homes and bird houses appearing at their sites. So too I become most interested that Belgium is a leader in rearing commercial bumblebees for pollination. Credit to the CWGC for their values to becoming environmentally friendly, to increase biodiversity and working towards sustainability. Indeed I have noticed the change.

Benches have always been of comfort to me, not only for my ability to rest upon them and observe, but as a photo study of their meaning alone in a landscape. The benches beckon comfort, for a visitor to join them in their watchful gaze. I find time to enjoy their horizontal and vertical slats from which I take in the views. With birdsong in my steps I move again towards the entrance/exit and reread the introductory text provided.

Notes about the chateau once here sends me back to the ruins (and moat), the ruins taped off but viewable. Chateau Rosendal, renamed by the British as Bedford House was used as a headquarters and hospital, but was never captured. The impact of shell fire destroyed the chateau and trees and on one single day some 500 gas shells fell here.

I leave now…seemingly (once again) wondering when the thread, the impetus for writing will come? I have my notes, my journal, my pictures. Early Monday morning I see the video of the reborn Rush at the 29 March 2026 Juno awards. With drummer Anika Nilles and keyboardist Loren Gold I am thrilled for Rush to return to the stage. Their music means much to me, providing the desire to play guitar…(how many time have I played Working Man?…and others…) The song they chose for their return…Finding My Way from their first album released in 1974…

Though the lyrics of Finding My Way are pre-lyricist and drummer Neil Peart (The Professor) Rush’s return after last performing 1 August 2015 are heartfelt. The loss of Neil Peart in 2020 to Alex and Geddy, and to all those close to the drummer was…before his time. Would Rush ever play again? And so they did – as so too I walk these rows of trauma, before their time, finding my way, finding my way back home…

Thanks to Geddy, Alex, John, Neil, Anika, Loren and 5,139 others this day.

Trauma does not heal. However, post-traumatic growth can allow us to build resilience. Through the footsteps of others…I find healing…my sustainability…find your way.